How to Maintain Self Confidence

self confidence, how to find your self confidence, how to be confident, how to be a confident person

There’s plenty out there about how to find your confidence, but once you find it, how do you maintain self confidence?

I did a quick internet browse on how to find confidence. In doing so I found that more sleep helps, finding a “power pose” and tapping into your “inner strength” can help. But what happens if your sleep fails, your power pose turns into a pouty pile and your inner strength doesn’t show up to work? Those things may help for a hot minute, but one things that will never fail, will never weaken and will never not show up – God’s Word.

God’s Word. God’s Word. God’s Word. Drill it down deep into your heart and mind and it. will. never. fail.

When I say drill it down deep I mean, think about it all the time. I wrote about being aware of what you’re thinking¬†here. I wanted to call attention to what it is you’re thinking about. Are you meditating on your flaws? Thinking about what people have that is better than yours? If so, stop! Fill your mind with what the Word says. Why? BECAUE IT WILL NEVER FAIL YOU (tired of hearing that yet?)

To make it as easy as possible for you I found some verses on confidence for you to meditate on. They’re from the Passion translation (TPT) which I’ve been loving lately. And just so we don’t leave anything up to question I’d like to walk you through how I mediate on a verse so you can do the same.

Let’s start with this one in Psalms…

“He’s the hope that holds me and the stronghold to shelter me, the only God for me, and my great confidence.” – Psalm 91:2

Who is the hope that holds me? Jesus.

What does His hope do? It holds me.

When do you need to be held? Touchy people would say, “ALWAYS!” But for the rest of us, it’s usually when we’re not feeling our best, or we’re sad, or need encouragement.

What else does He do? He’s the stronghold to shelter me.

When do you need a shelter? When things are coming against you. When fiery darts are being aimed at your mind such as: “You’re not loved.” “You’re not good at what you do.” “You look old.” “You don’t look as good as she does.” “You’re fat so you mine as well give up looking nice.” “You’ve messed up too much, God doesn’t love you.” If literal fiery darts were being shot at you, what would you need? A shelter! God is your shelter!

He is your safe place to run to whenever you need Him. In fact, He longs for you to run to Him making Him the only God for you. It’s a declaration you can make! We can easily put other things up in the “god spot.” It really can be anyone or anything that we give our love/attention to. But by saying this, we are saying He – capital H – is the only God for me.

He is my confidence. No, I missed a word: GREAT. He is my great confidence.

All I did was pick apart the verse and think about each group of words bit by bit. Then I’ll mull it over and over in my mind till it’s automatically where my brain goes when something starts to flare up. That, my friends, is how you put your confidence in God. You mediate and ground yourself in His Word.

Here are a couple more scriptures for your collection. I find the end of this first one very interesting…

“Yes, it is so much better to trust in the Lord to save me than to put my confidence in celebrities.” – Psalm 118:9

“Fear and intimidation is a trap that holds you back. But when you place your confidence in the Lord, you will be seated in the high place.” – Proverbs 29:25

“Confidence and strength flood the hearts of the lovers of God who live in awe of him, and their devotion provides their children with a place of shelter and security.” – Proverbs 14:26

Plug your confidence chord into the only power outlet that will never loose power: God’s Word (fancy way of saying IT NEVER FAILS). If you put this in to practice and answer those self-depreciating thoughts with “No, that’s not my thought.” Then fill your mouth and mind with His Word. Because guess what? IT NEVER FAILS.

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Finding Your Confidence

finding your confidence, confidence, confidence in God,

Finding your confidence in God.

There was once a good while where I made people call me “The Kite Master.”

Had I flown a lot of kites? No.

Had I flown a kite for a long time? Nope.

Had I flown anything up in the air for longer than 10 seconds within, let’s say, a month of this moment in time? Nah.

But I had the confidence for it and I succeeded. That day I flew a kite and later that year I became the owner of a kite shop.

Sorry, not an actual shop, one that goes in a Christmas village.

The point is, it’s important to find your confidence. Let’s talk about where that starts.

We have a lot of opportunities to fill our heads with other people’s lives. I just finished reading the first book in the Little House on the Prairie series and in it Laura writes how her and Mary have never seen two houses next to each other. Fast forward to today and we know intimate details about the inside of someone’s house…whom we’ve never met…across the country. Thanks to our phones and social media we have plenty of images to fill our minds. Images that are oftentimes just the highlight reel of someone’s life. But you know this, you’ve heard this along with a really quippy quote about “highlight reels” already.

You want to know where to start if your confidence has taken a hit. Or if you’re not happy with what you see in the mirror, or how to stop comparing your life/body/hair/skin/clothes to someone else’s. Or maybe you’re not comparing, you’re just wanting to love being you. The good news is, the first step is easy…

Change what you think about.

What are you meditating on? I know we use the word “meditating” a lot when it comes to Bible verses, but you can be meditating on something and it not be a scripture. I’ve caught myself meditating on negative situations with people: what happened, what I would have done differently, what I would have said to really DRIVE HOME A POINT. But it’s not doing me any good. In fact it’s doing me harm because it’s keeping me out of love.

So when it comes to yourself, what do you think about? If you’re only meditating on your flaws, what you look like in comparison to someone else, or where you have failed in life STOP! That’s not walking in love either! It’s just as much not walking in love as it is to sit around and think about how you’d like to tell off Sister Sandpaper!¬†The Bible tells us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. How can we extend love to someone when we’ve not even worked on how we love ourselves?

“Jesus replied, ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” -Matthew 22:37-40 (TPT)

It’s like the facemask in an airplane: you’ve got to first put the facemask on you before you can save others. So in order to fulfill the second greatest commandment, which Jesus points out is equally important as the first, we’ve got to love ourselves.

It’s unrealistic to think you’ll never look at social media again. So instead of swearing it off, take the baby step of paying attention to your thoughts when you’re on it or right after you get off it. Are they positive or negative about yourself? If they’re at all negative, put a stop to them immediately. Say, “that’s not my thought.” Then find a scripture about yourself and the area you need the biggest boost in and speak it out.

I’ll touch more on that next time. But for now, work on identifying what’s going on in your thought life and putting a stop to it.

“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.” -Jeremiah 17:7

God has put it on my heart to write about this subject. Obviously it’s been a minute since I’ve posted and there is definitely some dust flying around this blog as I type. But I want to share about this because I believe it’s part of my calling. I have such a desire to see women be confident in who God made them to be. I hope you’ll check back in for more. :)

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Fall, Oh How I Love You Even More

fall, gap kids, fall fashion, baby, autumn, west town mall

I usually like to celebrate fall the very minute it arrives, even counting down the hours we have left until we’re in the most glorious season of all. This year, however, was a little different.

Fall came in the middle of the night and I had just started celebrating not being awake with Jackson around that same time. But on the first day of fall, Jackson gave me a new reason to celebrate – he smiled at me for the first time!

He gave me the smile while I was making a poop joke, so I can imagine this boys sense of humor hasn’t fallen far from the tree :)

Every little milestone is so exciting and the fact that he reached this one on the first day of my favorite season makes me realize anew how much God loves us and cares about what we care about.

Now I can’t wait to hear him laugh!

Speaking of smiling, if you’re taking family pictures this fall or if your kids need a wardrobe refresh, check out my segment from the week where I talk about some really cute GAP Kids clothes and the new line that lets them be the designers!

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Boost Your Confidence in One Easy Step

confidence, how to have confidence, how to be more beautiful, how to carry yourself well, boost your confidence

I’ve accidentally conducted an experiment.

It’s an accidental experiment because I didn’t intentionally set out to see the effects, I was just being myself. But I’ve noticed an impact and I’m good with it.

I like to joke around. A lot. And since people usually go for the easy jokes of being self deprecating, I learned a long time ago that not many people (especially women) go for the jokes where they come off confident (jokingly cocky would be a better description).

The effects, I’ve noticed, have taken place with a particular friend who would dish out the self deprecating comments like candy for a while. Then after years of being around my jokes filled with the fact that I can do anything and if I’m touching it it’s awesome – this person started speaking the same way about themselves. In fact I noticed in some instances they’d leave off the jovial edge and just speak better about themselves in general.

I’m not saying that I played a complete hand in this transformation, but I will take some of the credit (thank you very much). Because as I said earlier, most people go for the self-demeaning humor so going against the grain and actually talking about how awesome you are, really wakes people up to what your saying and changes their perspective of you. They know, you know you’re awesome.

And you are.

Why shouldn’t we brag about ourselves? We are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God Himself!

Of course you don’t want to tip the scale to arrogance, but my guess is you’ve been speaking so poorly about yourself to others for so long that it’s going to take some getting used to building yourself up out loud. And if you have to fake it till you make it then so be it.

Start small: “My nails look great today!”

And build big: “My butt is BRINGING IT in these jeans!”

I truly believe that by hearing yourself say nice things you’re going to single-handedly boost your confidence and how others perceive you.

And listen, if the thought of sounding like a Nike shirt really makes you nervous, then simply start by stopping the negative comments you would normally say about yourself. After you’ve done that a couple times and a negative thought pops in your head that you go to say out loud, twist it around to be something positive, or simply agree with someone when they compliment you.

You are awesome, you look amazing and it’s because you read this fabulous blog. See, it’s not that hard ;)


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Baby Update III

maternity style, pregnant, pregnancy style, 32 weeks, fashion blog, pregancy fashion blog

It really freaks me out when Jackson moves while I’m walking around.

Most of the time he’s moving while I’m sitting or laying down, but last night I was getting ready to start my evening facial ritual and he moved hard core out of no where. I probably jumped so high I could’ve landed on our dresser.

Other than those crazy moments, having a little baby moving around in there has been so fun! It’s like a secret communication he and I have, yet I always give the secret away because my hand goes straight to my belly to feel it better. Sorry buddy, secrets out!

I cannot even count the amount of time I’ve spent staring at my stomach watching it move around all weird while he has play time in there. I’m sure it’s a drop in the bucket compared to the time I’ll spend staring at him when he comes out ;)

Clothing wise, I am so thankful to have not reached a point of frustration. We believe strongly in what the bible teaches about sowing and reaping – how that everything is a seed you sow and that you can expect a harvest (Matthew 13:1-23). So early on in the pregnancy, I cleaned out my closet and sowed the biggest clothing seed of my life in faith that I would reap a harvest in the form of always being happy with what I had to wear while pregnant.

I know my clothing standards and when they’re not met while not pregnant it’s frustrating, I certainly didn’t want to experience that frustration with the mixed cocktail of pregnancy hormones surging through my body.

Just know, sowing seeds like that really works! I’ve not only gotten some really awesome deals on the few maternity pieces I’ve bought, but I’ve also had the wisdom to know how to make things go farther (for example the addition of these and the fact that I can wear them afterwards as well really helps).

And that is something we can do whether we’re bringing a child into this world or not. If you’re in need of something, test the system. Sow a seed into someone’s life and be ready for your harvest!

Want to read other baby updates? You can do so here and here. You’re welcome.

(This whole outfit came from Target by the way) :)

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