compliments – the Spiff

How to Receive Lots of Compliments

Today I’d like to take a slightly different approach to the series on compliments I’ve been doing (you can see other posts about it here and here).

I know that receiving a compliment is something some women struggle with, but some times we can have problems on the other end – fishing for them. I’ve been in many a scenario with other women where they were doing everything but literally reaching down my throat to pull out praise, and needless to say that can be awkward (and not very tasty).

What’s more is if you go fishing for a compliment, the reward is never ever as sweet as when you get one that’s fresh and sincere.

So what is a girl to do if she wants lots of compliments but doesn’t often receive them?

Two words: compliment others.

I am 1,000% certain of this, that if you begin to compliment others – even strangers – you will in turn get paid compliments back. I practice this constantly in my own life. Words of encouragement are a big part of how I receive love, so I make it a point to compliment someone on something I think is pretty, whether I know them or not.

The Bible tells us that the concept of seed time and harvest will always exist, which means if you’ll sow seeds of compliments, you’ll get many in return. I do! I’m all the time getting complimented from strangers. Every time it happens, it brightens my day!

Rest assured that’s not the only reason I tell you I like something. It’s because I know how uplifting it is to hear those encouraging words, and that makes me want to offer the same happiness to someone else (whether they say, “Thank you” or not!)

How to Receive a Compliment Part II

The trouble with compliments, is sometimes we don’t know how to respond.

I talked about this on my morning show segment several weeks ago, but I didn’t get to everything I wanted to say. So here’s more…

When you respond to a compliment with a self-deprecating remark, it does two things. First, it highlights your insecurities.

By immediately pointing out what you don’t like about your outfit (or how you feel in it), it draws attention away from the beautiful thing you were complimented on and instead flips on a negative light. I know that sounds complex, but that’s exactly what happens.

It also puts the compliment giver on defense. Which means they have to defend to you why it is they like something you’re wearing – does that make sense? No! Does that make them want to give you more compliments in the future? They may think twice about it.

I understand that if we’re not feeling our best, it can be hard to confidently say, “Thank you.” But it’s really the best reaction. If you’re really not feeling your best, you can say something like, “I really appreciate that, I’m not feeling this outfit today but it’s what I went with. I’m so glad you said something!”

That way you don’t have to “fake” confidence, and at the same time you let them know how good their compliment made you feel. Which in turn makes them feel good, and won’t ruin your chances of getting a compliment again in the future.

There will be more blogs on this subject, I can guarantee you that. For now, be mindful of how you respond and be positive with what you’re wearing! You look beautiful today, own it and say thank you!