confidence – the Spiff

Beauty, God's love, Spiffy

Finding Your Confidence

March 31, 2023 No Comments

Finding your confidence in God.

There was once a good while where I made people call me “The Kite Master.”

Had I flown a lot of kites? No.

Had I flown a kite for a long time? Nope.

Had I flown anything up in the air for longer than 10 seconds within, let’s say, a month of this moment in time? Nah.

But I had the confidence for it and I succeeded. That day I flew a kite and later that year I became the owner of a kite shop.

Sorry, not an actual shop, one that goes in a Christmas village.

The point is, it’s important to find your confidence. Let’s talk about where that starts.

We have a lot of opportunities to fill our heads with other people’s lives. I just finished reading the first book in the Little House on the Prairie series and in it Laura writes how her and Mary have never seen two houses next to each other. Fast forward to today and we know intimate details about the inside of someone’s house…whom we’ve never met…across the country. Thanks to our phones and social media we have plenty of images to fill our minds. Images that are oftentimes just the highlight reel of someone’s life. But you know this, you’ve heard this along with a really quippy quote about “highlight reels” already.

You want to know where to start if your confidence has taken a hit. Or if you’re not happy with what you see in the mirror, or how to stop comparing your life/body/hair/skin/clothes to someone else’s. Or maybe you’re not comparing, you’re just wanting to love being you. The good news is, the first step is easy…

Change what you think about.

What are you meditating on? I know we use the word “meditating” a lot when it comes to Bible verses, but you can be meditating on something and it not be a scripture. I’ve caught myself meditating on negative situations with people: what happened, what I would have done differently, what I would have said to really DRIVE HOME A POINT. But it’s not doing me any good. In fact it’s doing me harm because it’s keeping me out of love.

So when it comes to yourself, what do you think about? If you’re only meditating on your flaws, what you look like in comparison to someone else, or where you have failed in life STOP! That’s not walking in love either! It’s just as much not walking in love as it is to sit around and think about how you’d like to tell off Sister Sandpaper! The Bible tells us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. How can we extend love to someone when we’ve not even worked on how we love ourselves?

“Jesus replied, ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” -Matthew 22:37-40 (TPT)

It’s like the facemask in an airplane: you’ve got to first put the facemask on you before you can save others. So in order to fulfill the second greatest commandment, which Jesus points out is equally important as the first, we’ve got to love ourselves.

It’s unrealistic to think you’ll never look at social media again. So instead of swearing it off, take the baby step of paying attention to your thoughts when you’re on it or right after you get off it. Are they positive or negative about yourself? If they’re at all negative, put a stop to them immediately. Say, “that’s not my thought.” Then find a scripture about yourself and the area you need the biggest boost in and speak it out.

I’ll touch more on that next time. But for now, work on identifying what’s going on in your thought life and putting a stop to it.

“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.” -Jeremiah 17:7

God has put it on my heart to write about this subject. Obviously it’s been a minute since I’ve posted and there is definitely some dust flying around this blog as I type. But I want to share about this because I believe it’s part of my calling. I have such a desire to see women be confident in who God made them to be. I hope you’ll check back in for more. :)

Beauty, Spiffy

A Confidence Boost for Your Week

July 17, 2016 No Comments

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Don’t waste a single minute this week thinking insecure thoughts.

As a wise person once said, “Ain’t nobody got time for that.”

We really don’t have time for worrying about trivial problems, or thinking we can’t do this or that.

Just be!

Clear your head of the Pinterest-perfect life you see on social media. Be present when you’re around other people and not miles away on a screen. Know that your worth is grounded in the fact that God loves you so much.

There is a verse I have on repeat in my head. I cemented it in there by making it a part of my every day, and at first, it was just a great thing to say in the mornings. But then I started realizing just how useful it was.

After having moved this year, my to-do list has grown tremendously. And with a curious and very mobile baby to add to the list of jobs I ALREADY have to do – moments of feeling completely overwhelmed and under-energized would pop up.

That’s when I realized just how important the verse was that I had ground into my head…

“I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.” – Phillippians 4:13

All things, it says. Once you start repeating that to yourself over and over again, you’ll be amazed at the number of situations you’ll be able to apply it to.

Don’t love what you see in the mirror? You can do all things – including find how beautiful God made you.

Want to lose weight? You can do all things – including knowing what to eat or do to best work with your body.

Don’t know how you’re going to balance work and motherhood? You can do all things through the strength that comes from God.

Have dreams and desires but you don’t know they’ll come about? Through Christ!

I could make this list miles long. You apply it to whatever it is you need this week…and for the rest of your life.

The sign I’m holding in the picture has a list of things that can more easily be done when you’re confident in the person God made you to be. Which is what He’s called us to do – meditate on His word (Psalm 1:3), enjoy life (John 10:10), experience a peace that passes all understanding (Phillippians 4:7).

Then share the eternal joy and peace with others!

Beauty, Spiffy

Improve Your Body Image this Summer

June 17, 2016 No Comments

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Do you want to have a summer spent comfortable in your own skin? Or do you want to continue scrutinizing yourself and others, meanwhile furthering your discontentment with different parts of your body?

Now is such an important time to address body image because we’re about to start showing a lot of skin on a regular basis. In the winter we can hide behind layers of clothing and blame a little extra weight on the holidays (even in March). But in the summer, the sun shines on our every “flaw.”

So if you’re ready to be comfortable and confident, keep reading (and get out your wallets!! …just kidding).

This isn’t a promise to fix all of the flaws you fixate on, but I do believe that if you put into action these three steps, you’ll have a great summer completely relaxed in how you look.

I hate it when articles spend half the time harping on the problem and only a paragraph on the solution, so I’m going to dive right in. You know the problem. I’m talking about the negative thoughts you allow in your head when you look in the mirror and how you sometimes compare your hair to someone else’, or wish your muscles were as toned as hers.

There’s the problem. Here’s the solution…

Step 1: Choose to be content.

If I were you reading this for the first time, that first step would probably piss me off. You’re reading this because you want magical answers, dang it! But truly contentment is a choice.

We may not be able to control each and every single thought that pops into our head, but what we can control is the amount of time we dwell on it.

When you look at someone and the thought of how skinny their thighs are compared to yours starts to stir around in your head, put an end to it. Any kind of comparison thinking, or negative scrutinizing – don’t give it more than 1 second worth of brain power. Whether it’s aimed at you or someone else. You have to work to break the habit of thinking down that negative path.

Step 2: Replace the negative thoughts.

Step 1 could exist on it’s own…for about 24 hours. That’s why you’ve got to complete it by filling those thought spaces with God’s word.

One of my favorite verses and really the one this blog is based on is in Luke 14:11… “if you are content to be simply yourself, you will become more than yourself.”

The minute you realize the door to those negative thoughts is cracking open, think (or even say out loud!)…”I am fearfully and wonderfully made. God created me in His image and He loves me.” What better thought to settle on than the love your Creator has for you?

Step 3: Don’t base your happiness on future events.

Too many times we build the foundation of our happiness on ice cubes. We think, “when this happens (weight loss, new hair color, etc.)…then I’ll be happy with myself.” And our mistake is in the fact that sure it’s solid at the time, but when we don’t hit a goal everything starts to melt and collapse and we’re back to square one. That’s why you have to start now. Right where you’re at. Now. Now.

What you look like right this minute is the person you need to be happy with.

Decide you’re going to be happy, and work to drive out those negative thoughts with what the Bible says about you. God knit you together in your mother’s womb (Isaiah 44:2) so He knew exactly what you were going to look like, down to your exact DNA, and He loves how you turned out! Ask Him for help loving how you turned out as well.

Listen, everyone everyone struggles with something about their appearance that they don’t like. But not everyone lives in the freedom that comes with casting those worries onto God. Let’s decide this very minute to not live in that critical state of mind any longer and really love the person God created us to be!

fall, Fashion, west town mall

The Importance of a Handbag

November 2, 2015 No Comments

I was seconds away from including “nice” in the title so it would be “The Nice Importance of a…” No, silly. I meant “nice handbag” but I didn’t want anyone to think I meant for them to put down the grocery list and go buy an expensive handbag.

Really, nice can mean all kinds of things. What I’m intending it to mean is sturdy, clean, attractive (all words that have once been used to describe me, ironically ;)

Sometimes we can get snow blind with the things we use everyday and not really give it a good looking at. Is your current bag clean looking? Is it sturdy and not ripped? Is it attractive to you? I say “to you” because you are the one who is going to be carrying it around the most so you need to be happy with it.

Whether we realize it or not, handbags do really represent a women and her taste, so make sure you are being represented well.

Now to make a quick case for budgeting a little more for a name-brand bag…

Much like beauty products that cost more than what you can get at Target, a higher end handbag is going to last you longer. So if you consider cost-per-wear when you find one you like, you’re making a good investment and will get you your money’s worth.

The thing I love about carrying a great handbag is it doesn’t matter what I’m wearing, if I’ve got a beautiful one on my arm people know the sweats beneath it are just my cleaning clothes. But if I’ve got a ratty handbag over my sweat shirt-ed arm, people will wonder if I’m living in a van down by the river.

Regardless of how much you drop on a purse, take good care of it. Send the message to the world that you’ve got it all together, even when you don’t feel like you do.

Beauty, God's love

Boost Your Confidence in One Easy Step

July 10, 2015 1 Comment

I’ve accidentally conducted an experiment.

It’s an accidental experiment because I didn’t intentionally set out to see the effects, I was just being myself. But I’ve noticed an impact and I’m good with it.

I like to joke around. A lot. And since people usually go for the easy jokes of being self deprecating, I learned a long time ago that not many people (especially women) go for the jokes where they come off confident (jokingly cocky would be a better description).

The effects, I’ve noticed, have taken place with a particular friend who would dish out the self deprecating comments like candy for a while. Then after years of being around my jokes filled with the fact that I can do anything and if I’m touching it it’s awesome – this person started speaking the same way about themselves. In fact I noticed in some instances they’d leave off the jovial edge and just speak better about themselves in general.

I’m not saying that I played a complete hand in this transformation, but I will take some of the credit (thank you very much). Because as I said earlier, most people go for the self-demeaning humor so going against the grain and actually talking about how awesome you are, really wakes people up to what your saying and changes their perspective of you. They know, you know you’re awesome.

And you are.

Why shouldn’t we brag about ourselves? We are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God Himself!

Of course you don’t want to tip the scale to arrogance, but my guess is you’ve been speaking so poorly about yourself to others for so long that it’s going to take some getting used to building yourself up out loud. And if you have to fake it till you make it then so be it.

Start small: “My nails look great today!”

And build big: “My butt is BRINGING IT in these jeans!”

I truly believe that by hearing yourself say nice things you’re going to single-handedly boost your confidence and how others perceive you.

And listen, if the thought of sounding like a Nike shirt really makes you nervous, then simply start by stopping the negative comments you would normally say about yourself. After you’ve done that a couple times and a negative thought pops in your head that you go to say out loud, twist it around to be something positive, or simply agree with someone when they compliment you.

You are awesome, you look amazing and it’s because you read this fabulous blog. See, it’s not that hard ;)